27/01/2015
離婚率太高?
Mei Ling
Mei Ling
廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。
Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。
Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。
著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships鑽石媒人Mei Ling
定下「新年目標」通常代表著一個承諾,要在新年之初開展對自己有益的好事,並告別那些對自己壞處多多的事情。對於2015年的目標,我想給大家一些建議,讓我們多為香港做些好事。
人口老化是其中一個正壓迫香港的問題。2014年,我們的年齡中位數是42.5歲。根據世界衛生組織的標準,在2050年前,我們有四成人口會達65歲或以上,香港將成為世界上第五個人口最老的城市,實在令人震驚!
「依賴人口指數」是指年老的依賴人口及具生產能力的壯年人口之間的比例。指數被用於經濟學、地理及人口統計學上,用來計算生產力人口所承受的壓力。依賴指數愈高代表問題愈嚴重,因為這意味著支撑社會發展的壯年人口佔更少數。香港現今的比例是4.9:1,還不算太嚴重,6年內,指數將跌至3.4:1,可勉強維持社會運作,可是,假如我們袖手旁觀,指數預計會於2031年前跌至2.2:1,以及在2041年前跌至1.8:1。後果不堪設想。
為何我們的人口老化速度會如此快?原因有二,我們愈來愈長壽(男性的壽命達80歲,女性達86.4歲),同時我們出生率持續下降。成因?我們的離婚率太高,意味著婚姻缺少了建立家庭所需的基礎-永久的承諾。還有,為何我們的離婚率會如此高?問題的成因眾多,非一個原因可說清,但當中影響深遠的是離婚法所支持的即使「無誤、單方面」亦可離婚,以及把分居期由3年縮短至1年。
最常見的離婚理由包括:
1) 財務糾紛
2) 不忠
3) 態度問題
金錢上的問題離不開支援不足、債務以至賭博問題,這個不時演變成暴力收場的問題更常見於低收入家庭。不忠是另一個導致離婚的主因,任何階層的人都有可能不忠,但以高收入人士為甚。數據顯示擁有良好教育背景及較高收入的一群較容易出現態度及期望落差的問題。總括而言,貧者認為養育孩子是負債;富者較多不忠者,與伴侶相處時的態度不當,因此,無論是貧者富者都在養育孩子這一環上卻步,令人不堪設想的人口老化問題油然而生。
為解決問題,我們可以做甚麼?
財政糾紛:多關顧身邊較你貧乏的人,這些人可以是你樓下的保安員、你時常光顧的餐廳的侍應、公司的清潔工、速遞員……向他們伸出友誼之手,因為他們的生活圈中,未必有如你般善於理財的人, 你的意見對他們而言可是相當重要的。成為他們理財上的明燈,不少人的命運或由你改寫。
不忠:在這個資訊時代,隨處是誘惑。另一邊廂,我們完全接受工時長、頻繁的公幹、應酬等繁重的工作模式,以致丈夫偷食成為一件容易事。在2014年,我們的離婚率是35%,年均遞增達8%!要解決問題,讓我們在友儕間培養更堅實的家庭文化,培植道德價值觀,支持健康的餘暇活動,幫助他人遠離誘惑及阻撓他人越軌。
態度問題:關係教育在不同的人生階段皆為重要。由三月開始,我們將聯同職業訓練局高峰進修學院舉辦新一輪的研討會,內容包括婚前課程(溝通技巧、擇偶方法、婚前準備、性愛教育、家庭計劃等),以及已婚課程(理財計劃、家務管理、育兒方法、糾紛調解技巧、離異的處理等)。我們希望這些方法能令伴侶們作出明智的決定,把對自己、孩子及社會幸福的損害減至最低。
團結則存,分裂則亡,為了香港更美好的將來,就讓我們同心解決問題。
(按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)
New Year Resolution 2015
A “New Year Resolution” normally means a promise you make to begin doing something good or stop doing something bad for yourself at the beginning of a new year. I’d like to propose a collective resolution for 2015 & let’s try to do something good for Hong Kong.
One of the most pressing problems Hong Kong faces presently is ageing population. Our median age at 2014 is 42.5 years. According to WHO, by 2050, 40% of our population will be 65 years old or above, making Hong Kong the fifth oldest city in the world!. Frightening.
“Dependency ratio” means the age-population ratio of the elderly dependants and the work force. It is used in economics, geography and demography to measure the pressure on productive population. A high dependency ratio means serious problems, because there are fewer working people to support the development of the society. Hong Kong’s present ratio is 4.9 : 1, not great. In 6 years , it will drop to 3.4: 1, barely sustainable.… If we did nothing about it, the ratio is expected to drop to 2.2 : 1 by 2031, and 1.8:1 by 2041. Absolutely catastrophic.
Why is our population ageing so fast? Two reasons, while our life expectancy is steadily increasing, (80 years old for men and 86.4 for women), our birth rate continues to sink. Why ? Our divorce rate is too high, meaning that marriage lacks the sense of permanent commitment fundamental to raising a family. And why is our divorce rate so high? There is not one reason but a basket of reasons, among which, the introduction of divorce laws in favour of “no fault, unilateral” divorces & the shortening of separation period from 3 years to one year have definitely contributed significantly to facilitating divorces.
The most common grounds for divorce include :
a) Financial dispute,
b) Infidelity and
c) Attitude problems.
Money matters ranging from insufficient support, debts to gambling - some triggering violence- are common causes especially among the lower income group. Infidelity is the next major cause permeating through all income groups, very especially among the well to do. Statistics show that the educated and the higher income group tend to have more problems regarding attitudes and unmet expectations. In summation, the poor consider children a financial liability, the rich commit infidelity and have difficult attitudes…hence both the rich and the poor begin to think thrice before having children, and we end up facing this horrific problem of ageing population.
What can we do to help?
Financial Disputes: Begin by taking notice of people who are less well off than you are – the security guard downstairs, the waitress at your favourite restaurant, the cleaner at your office, the delivery boy… Offer them your friendship because they cannot find a friend of your caliber within their own circle, and your advice can be extremely valuable to them. By pointing them in the right direction, you may help change many lives.
Infidelity: Temptation is easily accessible in this digital age. Moreover, we totally accept a busy work practice, including long hours, frequent trips, business socializing.. making it all very easy for straying husbands. Our divorce rate in 2014 was 35% with an annual increment of 8% ! Let’s all help to nurture a stronger family culture among colleagues and friends, cultivate moral values, support wholesome entertainment, help others avoid temptations & discourage strays.
Attitude Problems: Relationship education is crucial for different life stages. Effective March, we shall be introducing new seminars jointly with VTC at the PEAK college, covering Pre-Marital Courses (Communication Skills, How to Select A Spouse, Pre-marital Preparations, Sex Education, Family Planning….) and Post Marital Courses ( Financial Planning, Household Management, Parenting, Settling Disputes, Regarding Divorce…etc.) We hope these measures will empower couples to make informed decisions, to minimize negative impact on the well being of themselves, their children & society.
United we stand, divided we fall, let’s strive to solve the problems together for the betterment of Hong Kong’s future.
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